I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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