Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
