What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
