i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
