Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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