I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
