I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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