$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize