seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
