Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
