Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This toilet bowl is my home.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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