i don't like sucking hair
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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