I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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