Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
