i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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