why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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