dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
