Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
