can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just found a bag of teeth...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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