This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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