next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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