I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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