dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
