Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
