i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
