did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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