I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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