It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
