..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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