Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
