Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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