So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
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She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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