you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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