So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
