Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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