I accidentally burped into my bong.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
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I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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