It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
