Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
