I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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