is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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