Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
