is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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