P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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