I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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