I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
