Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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