She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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