I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Holy sore nipples Batman
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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