I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
