Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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