Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
