areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
