i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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