saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Everclear isn't food dammit
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize