you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
