Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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