omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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