I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize