She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
