You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
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You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
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It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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