I want to have your abortion
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
