You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
