not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am one with the molecules
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
